[None of this this has to do with the Movie Inception]

The dream:
I was at a convention in Paris. I was supposed to meet my brother, but I woke up late and was driving quickly to the convention site. As i got out of the car, I left the keys in the ignition and just grabbed my laptop power cord. In my mind, the streets of Paris are very narrow, leaving parallel parkers very little to room to get out, because as I got out, cars are veering out of the way to avoid hitting me. One car couldn’t stop and careened off the side my of rented SUV.

Forgetting about being late to the convention and only have a power cord, I found a police woman and tried to explain in french, adding some German in also: “J’ai habe laissé mes clés dans ma voiture.”

She quickly turned and spoke to me in english. I explained and she told me it would take a while to get the keys out since the car that crashed into it damaged the doors also. I asked her what the correct way of saying ‘I left my keys in the car’, and her response was something totally un-French sounding.

She told to wait close-by. [I think I had forgotten about going to the convention by now.] I walked into a warehouse, there were people arguing about their latest musical theatre production. I recall them just complaining about how the staff and management were out of touch. When they realized I was there, they started a cd player and pointed me a large table of merchandize and tried to get me to buy things. They trying to get me to buy tchotchkes when I was just trying to get the cast cd of the show.

Then I woke up.

The explanation:
I am leaving for Florida in a few hours to visit my siblings, and I have anxiety about missing a flight; I haven’t packed yet either. I recently almost missed a flight because I didn’t check the departure time correctly. So waking up on time this morning was important.

I’ve been thinking a lot about doing research abroad, especially in Paris. One of the requirements for a Fullbright fellowship is language competency and I’ve been wondering if my French is up to snuff. The non-french the police woman spoke may have been because I watched Girl with the Dragon Tattoo last night, which was in Swedish.

I recently I thought I had left keys to the office were my colleagues and I work in my car. We work downtown sometimes where I always parallel park and cross the street at the wrong times.

I found a DVD that an exgf had left of a broadway production of RENT. I watched that while I unpacked my new apartment. 2 nights ago, the director of a show I did music direction for at LSU who now teaches HS theatre in Metairie emailed me asking to the do music for their production of another musical, which I may or may not do. Yesterday, I was sitting in Highland Coffee and overheard an hourlong conversation between two local theatre persons and someone trying to break into the Baton Rouge theatre scene. The conversation ranged from the typical gossip to the downfall of LSU theatre because the influences of recently departed directors to general advice.

Each are available for download and use on Mac OS.

Additive Synthesis
This tool demonstrated Additive Synthesis with 6 oscillators.

Download Additive Synthesis Application

Pairing iPad with Max may seem a little easier than syncing wii-motes, but as it stands, the current setup up time takes just as long. I’m using TouchOSC and MAX/Msp for most of my software interactions, with UPD/OSC communication- which involves finding and typing in the iPad and computer’s IP/port information. I’m working on finding/writing an easy Bonjour/Zero-Cf engine to speed up the process with clickable ease.

Places I’ve already looked at:
http://opensoundcontrol.org/topic/110
http://recherche.ircam.fr/equipes/temps-reel/movement/muller/index.php?entry=entry060616-173626
http://recherche.ircam.fr/equipes/temps-reel/movement/muller/soft/oscbonjour.zip
http://toddtreece.com/haplome/?page_id=109 ( an example of how I want to use Bonjour, but also an example of a laundrylist setup.)

One of my pieces is being at this year’s International Computer Music Conference in June(ICMC)- part of their 60×60 concerts.

I’ve written a piece for laptop ensemble: “What the Bells”. It’s a marriage of inter-latop OSC-communication and Wii-mote control. It’ll be performed during the Festival of Contemporary Music at LSU in April.

I’ve sent of music abroad by request- my Duet for Flute and Trumpet.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/70847/reel-moments-orchids

I’ve been working really hard lately and I don’t feel like I’ve gotten anywhere. The semester is going to start Tuesday and I’m almost finished with my syllabus, but there are billion other things to do. And classes start on my birthday. I’ll be turning 28. I’ve been trying to stay true to my philosophy of balance: giving enough time for each part of my Mental-Emotional-Physical me. What else could I do?

I’ve renewed my vision on leaving Baton Rouge and moving with my life, getting into a doctoral program and getting better at everything. I’ve learned several things about myself in the past couple weeks- things that have changed since I’ve been here. I think since I’m looking forward to leaving, I’m becoming more independent. It’s time to think about myself for a while.

I really can not interact with someone who I can not trust.

What is even worse, if you’re really high the trust strata, and you lost it. It’s damn near impossible for me to even think about you.

I’ve thought about it several times, but I’m unable to name any specific school but general areas. I want to go North. Chicago, Indiana, NY, Boston, Michigan? -maybe even Europe.
So, tomorrow I start my next step in my future: I’ll be researching schools with PhD programs in Music Composition that place an emphasis on ‘New Music’ and encourage performances. It’s seems a little awkward- I have yet to move into my new apartment and have a another year of classes, and I am already planning on starting my next degree. I hope by the time I turn 25 (January 19th), I will have a good idea where I will be for the next 4 or 5 years.

Shane (future roommate) has joked about him starting his Master’s at the same place I start my PhD. What a weird feeling- since my notion before coming here was that I would mostly have no obligation, long-standing tie, or person following me out of Baton Rouge.

From there, I will have vague outlines of enriching my life- buying a house, marriage, children, etc.

I wonder how I will be in 5 years. 30. Will I regret plowing straight through school taken no breaks. Will I be burnt out? Will I be a great composer? Will I be alive? Will I have the same views I have now? Will I know the same people I know now? Will the people and things I love still be around? Someone please remind me in 5 years to look back and answer myself.

I’m taking a theory seminar on the metrical dissonances in Brahm’s music. But that’s a completely different topic. Other than that, I’m taking more lessons with Dinos. I have a lot of music to write for certain people and it’s been going pretty slowly. The work flow has come to grinding halt.

And I fear I am be getting a little depressed. I haven’t been sleeping much since school has started. Ultimate has picked a great deal, with Club practice, summer league, and pickup. Anxiety to write more music has me pulling my hair out at Highland everyday. Being at Highland has caused me to drink more coffee than any human should. I feel like my blood pressure has gone up significantly. I haven’t much time to relax. I have Dance Fever every Saturday.
I’ve been trying to not get involved with any girls. In the past week, I’ve been told am lame. And someone else has pre-emptively rejected me before I even made a move. The latter was a little hard to swallow, since I had no intention of making a move and I was just told not to bother. I feel I internalize everything and a lot of things affect me physically. I’m somewhat fatigued everyday. I’m less sharp and I feel like I’m constantly between sleep.

I’m finishing up a trumpet and flute duet and looking for move on to… either a string quartet, piano trio, brass quintet, wind band piece or a vocal&harpsichord piece. All of which should be finished before August.

If I were in Baton Rouge, I would most likely be at Highland Coffee from 9:30pm to 11pm, either working on music or getting into arguments with Shane, my future roommate, about music. And not having done any of those, I caved and went to the local Starbucks to get some coffee and try to do some work.

I normally only drink coffee in the evenings, when it seems that I need some energy. But having gone without it for almost 2 weeks, it’s made me kind of wired, in an antsy, cannot focus sort of way. So much for concentrating.

***

A group of my friends in Baton Rouge come from Lake Charles, a town largely devastated by Hurricane Rita in 2005, that seems built out of industry and gambling. As expected, everyone at LSU from Lake Charles knows each other. But what is striking is their continued association in college. My experience in my undergrad was the expansion of social groups. Not that they don’t have any friends outside of Lake Charles, but their past romantic hit-or-misses have largely been, as it seems to be, from a closely wound knit of each other. An incestuous coterie that can be connected in as little as three degrees of separation.

This whole situation may not be unusual, but I hate the idea of knowing I’ve kissed the same person my friend has. It’s a questionable connection, none too remarkable, and easily, the germ of future crises.